In Sweden, it's all open plan, and young, old and even pubescent girls make no effort to conceal their bodies. At our local London pool everyone is expected to change in private in a cubicle. The Swedish approach to nudity means kids there grow up with more of a ho-hum attitude to the human form in all its guises.Ĭompare, for example, my experiences with Swedish and British swimming pools. When we bad-mouth our own bodies, within earshot of our children, especially our daughters, it teaches them to mimic our self-loathing and examine their own beautiful bodies for imperfections.Ĭovering up and being ashamed of our bodies teaches our girls to do the same. But are we too quick to point the finger at social media and popular culture? In truth, aren't we sowing the seeds of self-esteem problems at home? 'My gorgeous girl looked in the mirror this evening and said: "I hate my smile, I have a horrid smile." How does this self-esteem issue start so young? Heartbreaking…' Picture posed by modelĪ friend recently posted a poignant exchange with her seven-year-old daughter on Facebook, which sharply illustrates the point. Would you let your kids shower naked with a family friend? Jess Spiring does. In 2011, European researchers discovered one in four seven-year-old girls had tried to lose weight and that girls as young as five were worried about their size. Another poll found a tragic one-in-five teenagers considered themselves ugly. Nowadays, we've reached the point where experts are unequivocal about how big an obstacle to a contented childhood body-confidence has become.Ī saddening 2013 study found that 47 per cent of 11 to 14-year-old girls admitted opting out of activities such as swimming or performing on stage because of how they felt about their bodies. With very little to compare myself to, I assumed my body was a thing of shame to be covered up.Īnd that was in a much more innocent time, before fat-shaming on Facebook and the ubiquity of internet porn. In the sixth form, one boy likened my boobs to torpedoes, inspiring the spiteful nickname 'torps'. I can still recall the agony of being told, at about 11, that my shapeless legs looked like they were on upside-down. I just wish I had felt like that when I was growing up. After getting hot and bothered tearing about with a classmate on a recent playdate, Matilda thought nothing of peeling off her uniform and undies, much to the bemusement of her friend and his mother, who have coined the term 'doing a Spiring' to mean flashing the flesh.Ĭovering up and being ashamed of our bodies teaches our girls to do the same Indeed, they are so body confident, it borders on exhibitionist.
While some mums at school tell me their children have become self-conscious about their bodies, my two have no such hang-ups. They will be better able to see the body of whichever Kardashian is flavour of the month as utterly unrealistic, having witnessed, warts-and-all, the naked bodies of real-world women. I'm not some kind of hippie, free-spirited nudist - I don't even particularly enjoy being naked and grew up in a typically English, covered-up home - but I do believe that seeing real bodies (especially women's) in all their glory will arm my girls with a benchmark to set against the half-starved images on social media that they will no doubt be obsessed with as teenagers. So it was hardly a huge leap when my close friend agreed to her three-way shower. They were less fascinated by her body than her belly button ring. Similarly, my 40-year-old sister, Jo, didn't flinch one morning when she was showering at our house, where the bathroom doesn't have a lock, and the girls barrelled in to join her. Matilda was delighted to examine Grandma's 68-year-old body at close quarters and my art-school-educated mother couldn't have played it cooler. Mum, having lived there for 13 years after retiring with my father, has adopted the Swedes' much more relaxed attitude and suggested a skinny dip. We were all desperate for a swim, but had no swimwear.
On holiday in Sweden, my mum, the girls and I took a walk beside a lake on a sweltering hot day. Matilda can't have been much past three when she saw nudity outside the immediate family. It's not just our bodies they've been exposed to.
Jess feels that letting her daughters see a variety of naked bodies will teach them that there's no such thing as bodily perfectionĪs a result, the landscape of our adult anatomy became so commonplace that the girls lost interest.